Background Check

Sculpture by the Sea 2009 – Sydney – Bondi

There are so many things in life we actually never think exist. Companies that exist solely to verify the details that people provided when applying for jobs, for example. I’m temporarily working for one of these while I’m still searching for a permanent position.
My job is to verify Employment History from candidates for jobs in big financial corporations.
From this I’m getting some funny stories, as it is my style to do wherever I am.
The best story was when I called a fashion store. I don’t want to put the name of the company here, so let’s say I called Fashion. It is a big company with stores all over Australia.
Imagined I called “Fashion” and asked for payroll or HR.
The sales girl – that sounded very young and was screaming against a loud music background – answered me promptly:
I couldn’t stop laughing for half an hour.

Another detail I noticed is the latest trends on “firing people” vocabulary, my favourite of all times is “retrenched”. To have been “made redundant” is already old. People are now “retrenched”. I think as you really can’t say what it means you will not feel that you were fired. HR departments have all this psychology behind what they write in your files…
I don’t think it makes a lot of difference when we are out of a job the name they gave to our “disconnection” but well, it’s funny to see how they are so creative.
Another interesting set of special names I just found out is that I started to find some positions as being: 2IC, 1IC, 3IC… I had no idea what they meant. I discovered it is very simple: Second In Command! First or Third In Command! So funny!

(Orble Votes: 66)

The Funniest Job Application Answer

Dear Canddiate,
Thank you for your recent application for this role. The advertisement directed candidates to apply on our website (which you did not) and as a result your application was not received and reviewed as part of the recruitment process. This role has been filled and the recruitment process has now been finalised. If you are interested in registering your interest in a role with us, please go to the website.

I just received the above reply for a job application that I did this week.

It was really saying Canddiate instead of Candidate. And I thought it so funny I answered with the following e-mail:

Dear Sirs,

This is the funniest reply I have ever gotten for an application for a Job.
It is saying basically: thank you for your application that we received but we didn’t and you missed out.
At least it beats the “your application was unsuccessful” by far!
It is much worse but what can I do now?
I feel like a naughty kid and the teacher is saying: you have to read the questions before you answer them!!! In a very loud voice, too.
You are actually right, your advertisement probably said we should apply on your website, but after applying for 234,564 jobs you don’t see the writing anymore, you just see the big pink “apply” button.
Being like a robot, you expect that something that has a button for application means you are actually doing it: sending your information to the right person.
I have applied to other roles and when they expected the candidate to go to their website either the apply button didn’t work or sent them directly to the right place.
I guess it was kind of a test for you, hum? And I failed totally. You probably did it on purpose expecting a person that reads it all, very thoroughly.
But the funny thing is the company taking the time to reprimand the candidates that didn’t do it!
It is so good I will put it on my blog.
Don’t worry, I won’t reveal any names or companies, just tell the history and remind all other people like me, looking for a job in time of crisis, that we have to read things with more attention.
Have a great week!

(Orble Votes: 78)