The Funniest Job Application Answer

Dear Canddiate,
Thank you for your recent application for this role. The advertisement directed candidates to apply on our website (which you did not) and as a result your application was not received and reviewed as part of the recruitment process. This role has been filled and the recruitment process has now been finalised. If you are interested in registering your interest in a role with us, please go to the website.

I just received the above reply for a job application that I did this week.

It was really saying Canddiate instead of Candidate. And I thought it so funny I answered with the following e-mail:

Dear Sirs,

This is the funniest reply I have ever gotten for an application for a Job.
It is saying basically: thank you for your application that we received but we didn’t and you missed out.
At least it beats the “your application was unsuccessful” by far!
It is much worse but what can I do now?
I feel like a naughty kid and the teacher is saying: you have to read the questions before you answer them!!! In a very loud voice, too.
You are actually right, your advertisement probably said we should apply on your website, but after applying for 234,564 jobs you don’t see the writing anymore, you just see the big pink “apply” button.
Being like a robot, you expect that something that has a button for application means you are actually doing it: sending your information to the right person.
I have applied to other roles and when they expected the candidate to go to their website either the apply button didn’t work or sent them directly to the right place.
I guess it was kind of a test for you, hum? And I failed totally. You probably did it on purpose expecting a person that reads it all, very thoroughly.
But the funny thing is the company taking the time to reprimand the candidates that didn’t do it!
It is so good I will put it on my blog.
Don’t worry, I won’t reveal any names or companies, just tell the history and remind all other people like me, looking for a job in time of crisis, that we have to read things with more attention.
Have a great week!

(Orble Votes: 78)

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Job Search Hints and Good News

Do the unexpected. At the very least you will ride some pretty fancy lifts. I’ve been going to the recruitment agencies and I have good news: some of them really have people there.
The next morning from my last post I got to create some new crazy strategies, I got to think that letters with ridiculous sayings were not enough. Maybe I should do something in person, like enter the agencies singing (even though I cannot sing), the traditional wearing a watermelon around my neck or my favourite dream obsession: running naked in the middle of George Street, in this case with a body paint saying: hire me!
But by the end of the day I simply did what people seem not to be doing: visit the recruitment agencies. I realised that because mostly they don’t accept any walk-ins anymore, candidates simply stopped doing this walking around trying to talk to a consultant.
For me, the last two days have been amazing, I managed to shake hands with recruiters that actually have an open position that interests me and be interviewed by some nice people that didn’t have the job now but may have it soon. I also got a bunch of business cards; at least they give me a name to put on top of my e-mails with my resumes.
Of course I found some empty offices, got to the position of being inside a lift that doesn’t accept when you press the button. It is such an embarrassing feeling! You go inside a building, confidently go to the lift, the door closes, you press the button, it doesn’t lit, you do it again, and just one more time to be sure. Nothing happens, you press the button to open the door and leaves hoping no-one saw you.
The adventure is to ride all kinds of lifts though. I loved the one that didn’t have any buttons inside. You pressed the level you wanted to be taken in a panel outside in the hall and the panel would tell you which lift would take you there, you then ride the lift to your floor alone. Very fancy!
The best until now was that one of the companies I visited was great, the receptionist was warm and saw me as an actual person, not only a candidate, an unfortunate looking for work in times of crisis, or an annoying walk-in that doesn’t know people don’t do that anymore. She really talked to me, printed my recent resume and said a consultant would see me.
It was that then Magic happened. The consultant looked at my resume and her eyes started shining. She said it was amazing that I had walked in on her with an exact resume that would match a position she was just receiving. When she told me about it my eyes got to shine also.
I am now waiting to see how it goes but it already gave me hope and a warm feeling inside…
(Orble Votes: 58)

About Job Search in Time of Crisis and Flight attendants

Do you think there is actually someone working inside those beautiful offices in the centre of Sydney, the ones with glass doors on the top floors in the city? Other than the receptionist and the IT person that configures the automatic e-mails saying things like:
“After careful consideration, we regret to advise that your application was not successful on this occasion”
I have been trying to get through, to see the inside of one of these employment agencies.
Do you know with every fibre of your being that you are brilliant at work? I do. Why? Because I care. That is the one thing that is different from good workers from the bad ones. The good try to understand the consequences of each of their actions. As simple as that.
I feel like sending cover letters with ridiculous phrases like:
I LOVE YOUR MOM…
READ MY RESUME TO FIND OUT HOW TO BE YOUNG FOREVER…
IF YOU INTERVIEW ME YOU WILL NEVER WANT ANOTHER PIECE OF CHOCOLATE…
FIND OUT HOW TO GET THIN, FIT AND SEXY LIKE BRAD & ANGIE…
HOW TO GET RICH: INSTRUCTIONS INSIDE…
Or the priceless: I LOVE YOUR BUM!!!
I don’t know, just anything that would make them pay attention to me.
I have been trying different strategies: applying by e-mail or through the employment websites. Sending a portfolio with my e-mail and not. Different types of cover letters, from formal to informal, to inspirational, to barely sane. I e-mailed all the agencies, then I am calling them, one by one. Then I call the people in the job ads and today I finished my temporary work at 3pm and decided to visit some of these companies to try to make my way to get an interview… the results were atrocious…
I went to 5 companies before 5 pm:
1 disappeared, wasn’t at the listed internet address.
1 had the lifts blocked you couldn’t go up.
1 had two beautiful receptionists but no-one could see me.
1 was closed, probably at 5, the glass doors were spotless and it was a very nice office.
1 I actually managed to meet an agent, he shook my hand and sent me on my merry way…
There must be a way!!!! THERE MUST BE A WAY!!!
If you know the trick of finding a job in this crazy market, let me know! Recruiters are people, I swear to God they are, so there has to be a way to get to them…
Or are they like flight attendants? I have never met one outside of an airplane, have you?
(Orble Votes: 72)